Saturday, 21 July 2012

An open letter to customers,

People suck... Some are cool and worth tolerating, everyone else can fucking suck it. If people didn’t exist, the world would be a happier place because it would not have been destroyed by the territorial nature of humanity. And yes, I am aware that this would mean I wouldn’t exist, but maybe that would be for the best.

Working in customer service, I have seen the blatant lack of respect individuals hold for each other. I have had people call me worthless, incompetent, clueless, even been told that I should kill myself. I CANNOT HELP IT IF I HAVE TO USE THE SECURITY PEN! It’s a blatant security measure which affects you because if we get fake notes, it increases the chances of the store being closed down! We cannot accept swipe cards because they have to be phoned through for authorisation. When I show up for work, I always hope for stockroom duty or closedown because I don’t want to interact with people for the reasons listed above. Here’s a fucking tip for you guys: if you see four people doing nothing in the shoe section and you want a specific shoe, DO NOT SEEK OUT THE PERSON ON CLOTHING WHO IS OBVIOUSLY BUSY; DO NOT CALL HER INCOMPETENT WHEN SHE TRIES TO EXPLAIN THAT SHE IS BETTER AT CLOSEDOWN THAN SHE IS AT SHOES. I do not want to be called ‘lazy’ or ‘clueless’ when I have five kinds of shoes to get from the sodding stockroom already! Have you never heard of patience? Or, shock horror, asking SOMEONE ELSE? You are obviously too stupid and selfish to live if you think that burdening the already-stressed person with “just one more thing” won’t matter because “hey, she’s going to the stockroom anyway!” People like my customers drive me fucking insane. My ideal job is one where I can stay inside and only venture out when I need to. I am an asocial creature unlike other humans – I do not thrive on going out, alcohol, interaction, anything like that. All I need is my computer.

You people make me physically sick! I have seen parents slap their children in my store, heard horrible arguments and witnessed outbursts of incredible rage.

Fuck off.

AG Bellamy.

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